five candles

i lit five candles the other day

and put them all in a nice, neat row

i forgot to ask what each color meant,
they say a color stood for the kind of stuff you wanted to pray for – success, health, career, love, etc…

i bought all five anyway

i lit five candles the other day

because there are times in your life

when you get awfully tangled up in your mesh of realities

and find yourself helplessly naive & utterly forlorn

in the fast transition of shapes & shadows & spaces

& spheres & angles,

of scattered points & straight lines or broken curves,

of limitless functions,

all in the constant overlapping of each of our planes of existence.

i lit five candles the other day

because i’ve been learning a lot about life now

      like how realities can be strange & skewed at times, or wrong & impossible, or grotesque & full of pain, or difficult & delusional, or ludicrous & absurd, or abstruse, even metaphysical, but can still be fascinating & beautiful at the same time;

      that even if these realities, more often than not, render us irreparably broken with hearts crushed & souls purged into a million tiny fragments that can never be put together exactly in the same way again, we’d all still, at some point, find life beautiful.

i lit five candles the other day

because i have learned a lot about LOVE now,

through all sorts of people i’ve met & their versions of love –

     full of love but no chance to give love,

     showered with love but just too impossible to give love back,

     wants love but is incapable of doing the things that are entailed in love,

     gives love fully & is loved fully in return,

     found love, lost it & will perhaps never get to love again,

     still searching & patiently praying for love,

     loved at the wrong time, in the wrong way, for the wrong reasons,

     had not realized it was love until it was too late,

     never got a chance to say goodbye to the person she loved,

     got hurt over & over again, but still believed in love,

     took another chance in love,

     got transformed by her greatest experience of love,

     missed the opportunity to say he loved her,

     just loved & loved & loved, no matter what, expecting nothing in return,

     and the list goes on…

 

i lit five candles the other day
     for you and me

i put them all in a nice, neat little row
     and wished they all burned too well & bright,
     up until all my quiet prayers reached the lively hearth of the lofty rainbow colored heavens 😊